The Burlap Soulmate

Ok, I've officially been invited to lunch by a vendor. How much longer before those kickbacks start rolling in?

I haven't commented on the whole Terri Shiavo thing because, well frankly, so many are. But I can't let the whole thing go without saying one thing. This was never about right to die, or spousal rights, or parental rights, or anything like that. I would never seek to weigh in on those issues because I really don't KNOW how I feel about them. But what it came down to was a woman starved to death. Better yet, our courts ORDERED that a woman be starved to death because FOOD was considered extreme measures. I am deeply troubled. When I need someone to cut up my meat for me is that going to be considered extreme measures? You may laugh and call me a kook, but I never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

I happen to be Catholic, much like my mother. We both enjoy most things about this particular faith, including the rituals, the communion, the sacraments and the Saints, the overall sense that this is as close to the way God wanted us to worship as you can find in a man-made world. That being said, the two of us have always kind of laughed and sneered at the pomp and pomposity and overall HUGENESS of our Church. So I watch the current happenings at the Vatican with a conflicted heart. On the one hand, I feel like we're overdoing things, that our faith teaches that the Pope is just a man, worthy of reverence and respect, but not worship. On the other, I watch the whole thing unfold, the sheer NUMBERS of people, the prayers and songs, and am simply overwhelmed by the majesty of it all. Then a part of me can't help but feel really proud of my chosen religion and grateful for a chance to show it off to the world. It isn't as though it's been a great thing to be Catholic in recent years. But here we have a really significant event, unfolding in all of it's glory before the world. And I feel like I am able to claim at least part of it for myself.

To the utter Fuckwad that I have to deal with to complete this disaster of a project: When I take a concillatory and apologetic tone with you, it means that I am not interested in egos, or in assigning blame. It means that I can appreciate that mistakes were made and am anxious to rectify them. It means that at the end of the day, all I want is to finish a good project and a machine that works as it is supposed to so that I don't have to dwell on it during my time with my Sweetie. It does not mean that you have free reign to loose your uncooperative attitude on me. It does not mean that I assume responsibility for all of YOUR mistakes and oversights. It does not mean that I bow to your superior knowledge or experience, because, frankly, I am unimpressed with both. Lastly, it does not mean that you have my permission to be a complete asshole or demand money for your services, WHEN I DON"T CONTROL THE MONEY. What really hacks me off is I can't send this to you because I still have to work with you, and cannot complete this project without your help. But know this: I am going to do my damndest to make sure that you become obsolete as soon as I can and we NEVER use your service again.
...Fuckwad...

Things have been going pretty well lately.So much so that I post even less often than normal which is definitely NOT that often. It's a sad fact, I tend to not write about the good and only about the bad. I'm working on that. But alas, I'm here. and why? for something bad. To the bitch poor distraught woman in the marauding torpedo of doom minivan who honked at me, sped in front of me, cut me off, slammed on her brakes on a dark and rain soaked morning and nearly sent both of us over the Fort Washington Overpass into the Ohio river, let me just say...I forgive you. At least I'm trying. In with the good air, out with the anger, the resentment, all of the bad feelings that are rising within me. Why couldn't I have been raised a buddhist? (sp?) You see it really came down to this, and it took the rest of my commute for me to calm down and realize it, but I feel sorry for you. That may sound patronizing but I really do. For you to risk both of our lives like that over some perceived wrong your life must be bereft of any joy, or fun, or love. And for that, I really hope things turn around for you. I wish you well on wherever it was you were hell bent on getting to. And I sincerely hope you don't hurt anyone along the way, especially yourself.