The Burlap Soulmate

We were ready for a house. We were SO ready. We'd planned, saved, dreamed, tried and failed so many times. We were so grateful when it finally became real.

And I still am, for the most part. I can't tell you how sick I was of obnoxious, stupid, crazy, nut job landlords. We were so good at the whole home thing. We had learned so much about renovation, maintenance, decorating. We wanted to do it to our own place.

And we did, or at least we are. But I neglected to realize just how little time is your own anymore. It's rare that we do 'fun ' stuff anymore. All free moments are spent fixing, drilling, sanding, etc. And that's IF the dogs aren't constantly in your face, which is also rare.

All of which doesn't complement a job that is really frustrating lately. I'm REALLY sick of playing peacemaker between product management and plant management. That's not my job...well, ok, maybe it is, but it shouldn't be so damn difficult to get people to agree.

In all my jobs, I've never seen a place so resistant to change. Even ginormous monoliths like General Motors looks vibrant and innovative compared to this place. The product hasn't changed in 15 years, and by God, we're going to keep it that way. Which sort of begs the question,' WHY AM I HERE?'

So that's where I;m at. Thank God for Staz or I wouldn't be much into anything at all, whether Christmas or house or anything. I've always believed that you need something to look forward to. But lately, the thing i really look forward to is going to bed every night. I'm just so tired, and no one bothers me there.

That's not good is it?

60 degrees in December just shouldn't happen. That's all I'm sayin'.

It feels very ominous, like there might be something to all of the hype. I know I know. Tell that to the folks still in the dark in Oklahoma. It still leaves me with a feeling of unease. Ignoring the fact of whether we're causing it or not, what if the world is getting warmer, and what if all of the chicken littles out there are right?

I actually embrace environmental causes if there is some rational thought behind it. For example, electric cars. What a completely pointless exercise. Where do you think the electricity comes from when you plug it into the wall? Pollution spewing power plants you tool. And a modern internal combustion engine spews about 1/1000th of the pollution and delivers 4 times the efficiency of a battery powered electric motor. Hybrids are a step in the right direction. But theres still the battery problem. They're full of toxic chemicals which are much more difficult and toxic to manufacture, use, and destroy at the end of their life. E85 ethanol? I can sort of see the attraction. Corn generated fuel. But what do you think that will do to food prices? And the stuff emits the same pollutants as fossil fuels, so what have you really gained?

Heres another problem I have. When did carbon dioxide become a pollutant? This stuff occurs in nature for crying out loud. Plants would die without it. If theres too much of it, why don't we just plant more trees?

My point? Is there one? Just that there is no shortage of hype, nonsense, and bullsh*t when it comes to environmentalism. I heard on the radio that I can donate money to some charity to offset my 'carbon footprint.' This has to be the most brilliant scam I've ever heard of, right up there with the thankfully forbidden practice of buying 'indulgences' in the Catholic church. If you're not familiar with it, you could donate money to your local clergyman and be forgiven for a myriad of sins. The more money, the more egregious the sin you could commit.

I guess I'm not ready to chain myself to a tree just yet. But I will recycle my water bottle.

We had a plan.

We had a list.

We had an itinerary.

We were going to kick some retail a$$ and get a whole bunch of Christmas shopping done, while also getting lunch, picking up home improvement supplies, as well as groceries and some much needed toiletries.

Never happened. We were late getting up. We took a shower only to have Bogey drink half a bottle of cyclosporin while unsupervised. We then waited half an hour for our vet to return my call and assure us that, no Bogey was, in fact, not in any danger. We left the house about 3pm, ate a late lunch, then wandered through Target examining potential gifts. We left empty-handed. We left PetSmart empty-handed too, except for some much needed cat litter. We then left Dick's Sporting goods empty-handed too. All in all, our holiday shopping amounted to 0-3. We felt like the Bengals.

By now, it was 7pm. The dogs would be going ballistic. No doubt they would be starving. All of this was, in fact, true, with the added bonus that Bogey had done a number 2 in his crate. He had gotten it everywhere, all over him, his blanket, his crate. UGH.

After much cleaning and swearing, we tried going out again. This time the dogs came with us to the Sprint store and Kmart. They were hyper and anxious, and continued to vye for our attention at every opportunity. And the shopping was less than successful. We are now 0-5 on the holiday shopping. We're looking more like the dolphins at this point. So we went home. So far, our most succesfull shopping expeditions have been online. Maybe we'll just continue to shop in our PJ's. And the dogs snoozing in the corner seem to like it better too.